Ebert the brutal

Rob Schneider responded to a passing lament by writer Patrick Goldstein (who said it was sad studios had passed on the chance to finance many of last year’s best picture nominees while they spent money freely on movies like a Duece Bigalow sequel) by placing huge ads attacking Goldstein, saying he had not won any awards for his writing (which turns out, as Ebert notes, to not be true).


But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” while passing on the opportunity to participate in “Million Dollar Baby,” “Ray,” “The Aviator,” “Sideways” and “Finding Neverland.” As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.