$$$ TOYOTA CAR/TRUCK/AUTO SALES $$$

DON’T LET THE PRESS FOOL YOU !!!WE HAVE MORE CUSTOMERS THAN WE CAN HANDLE! WE PAY UP TO 35% COMMISSION. $1800 MONTHLY CONDITIONAL GUARANTEE . SEVERAL OF OUR PEOPLE MAKE SIX FIGURE INCOMES!!! MINIMUM GUARANTEE. BILENGUAL A PLUS. IF YOU CAN THINK ON YOUR FEET AND COMMUNICATE WELL, WE CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE BIG $. CALL NOW! OUR CURRENT SUCCESS STORIES INCLUDE BARTENDERS, FOOD SERVERS, SHOE SALESPEOPLE AND RETAIL/NORDSTROM/MACYS SALESPEOPLE. LET US HELP YOU MAKE REAL MONEY!

Big start, the all caps is enthusiastic, they clearly do intend to shout… I like that if you’re bilingual it’s a plus, and they don’t spell bilingual right… the particularly weird thing to me, anyway, is that they’re disclosing what a salesperson’s commission makes, when generally car dealers want to cloak the whole thing in mystery.

1. Medical, Dental, Vision benefits available.
2. 401K retirement program.
3. Manufacturer bonus $$$ on various models.
4. Liberal “spiff” and demo allowance programs.

If you’re like me, you skidded to a stop right there. Really? They have a liberal spliff program and they allow you to drive cars? And there’s a minimum guaranteed income? How can this job even come up on Craigslist? It should be like the Vegas jobs where people bribe the hiring manager.

And then I realized “ooooooooh, spiff, like on-the-spot cash bonuses for sales. Right. Of course.

5. Top producers receive free trips to Hawaii, Las Vegas, etc.
6. Access to Seahawks and Mariners tickets.
7. Paid Vacation.

Nice.

DON’T WAIT! CALL NOW!

Aaaaah! Don’t startle me like that! I thought we’d settled down to talk like reasonable people!

…

EOE/Drug-Free Workplace

That line’s a lot funnier if you still think they’re handing out joints.