Xbox = ass

How in the world did Microsoft expect to take over the console world with something of such low production quality?

I bought an Xbox when Halo 2 came out. I played Halo 2, was hugely disppointed, and then I didn’t do anything with my box. I probably got maybe 30, 40 hours of play out of it including multiplayer, then it sat, perfectly level, boxed back up, for a couple months before I got a couple of other games. Cranked back up, it ran for maybe 30m before dying, and now on boot it tells me to go call customer service (two codes depending on its mood: 7, HD toast, 12, DVD toast). And of course it’s out of warranty now, since I bought it back in November. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee.

So that’s $150 + accessories for 40h of light use before it melted down. I guess storage in a room-temperature environment for those months when it didn’t have games I could play caused it to grow petulent. And now what am I going to do — spend another $150 on a box that’s pretty close to the end of its lifetime in order to play a couple of games? This is exactly the kind of pointless money-flushing I left PC gaming to get away from.

The only good part is that since my warranty had expired anyway, I cracked it open to check the cable connections (looked good, which in a way is unfortunate) and got to look around the innards. Didn’t make me feel any better about the money, though. And tomorrow, Jade Empire and Psychonauts arrive, and I have no console to play them on.

My Playstations have worked without complaint for years, my Dreamcast still cranks on to play Skies of Arcadia (awesome!). Or, to put this another way: my average console lifespan to Xbox lifespan ratio is easily 100:1. I’m sooooo not buying the next generation Xbox.

Privacy notifications

Companies should notify a customer who they intend to send personal information to. For instance, when you complete a transaction with an online travel company, when you submit payment (or at the terms and conditions page, or wherever in the payment path) they should clearly state:

Your personal information will be shared with
– A global booking engine (your airline ticket)
– The hotel
– The car rental company

As part of the booking process.

0 I understand and agree to having my information shared
0 I do not agree and wish to abandon this

And so on. No company should be able to pass on your personal information without your specific permission. If companies want to sell you out to partners or as part of a mailing list (as Performance Bike did to me), you should be able to opt-out of those, or at least be able to decline the transaction at that point:

Your order information will be shared with
– UPS (shipping)
– Mailomatic Scummasters (junk email)

0 I agree
0 I do not agree

There could be reasonable standards on presentation: readable type, and so on. For real-space transactions, retailers should have to ask your permission specifically for each place they want to pass your info on to.

If you do not specifically consent to information distribution, it would be forbidden (so, for instance, UPS couldn’t sell your information to Mailomatic Scummasters).

Companies that violate this by sending your information where it’s not supposed to go should not only have to pay massive crippling fines, but pay *you*.

This is a case where the interests of the public and of corporations are directly opposed, and the people should win. The use of personal data for profit without disclosure is a deceptive business practice and where government regulation is both justified and beneficial.

China and gravity

I’ve always been a weird political bird, in that I’m a rabid environmentalist and equally rabid privacy/free-speech advocate. At the same time, I’m also the kind of guy who has skirted being fired over being vocal and active in oppostition to things my company did (this was in the AT&T Wireless days) that I thought weren’t cool.

I may soon end up doing a lot of work in and around China as part of my job, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

Then my friend Joel, who is smart, made a very short argument:
In Cuba, where we’ve had harsh sanctions in place forever, they are no more free and no more prosperous than they were when we started. In China, while there’s internet filtering and so forth, individuals have a lot more freedom than they did at the same point in time: freedom of individual movement, for instance, is much greater.

Still, it’s a weird feeling to have to face working in an environment where oppression and corruption are as pervasive as gravity.

My other problem is that I have two other, larger conflicting views:

I believe that there’s no reason that someone just like me but born in China should make some small percentage of my salary, and not enjoy the freedom I do. I fear the global leveling that could make all of us equally prosperous, because I have mortgage payments to make, but I also believe that trade can create wealth, and so on.

On the other side, though, I fear that free trade doesn’t get to the people. I may buy a graphics card for my PC that’s made in China, but if that money disappears entirely into the pockets of industrialists and officials who keep working conditions terrible, that doesn’t help anything. If the fabricators are all in cahoots, an industry boom doesn’t help the workers.

Or, to put all of my concerns together: does modern technology and process make it possible to keep the average person in the third world in some early Industrial Revolution serfdom forever? Does it matter what I do at all?

Hermione the Hero

Something I’ve been considering while I wait for the next Potter book and hope it’s not as lame as the last couple. Hire an editor, Scholastic.

Hermione versus Harry
DMZ, 2005

Hermione should be the hero of the Harry Potter books. That she is not reveals a great deal about our disappointing dependence on certain kinds of myths.

Harry is a natural wizard. He’s the undiscovered future king, born into greatness. He’s the almost super-human savior. His talent and force of will overcome obstacles to his ascent, in spite of his erratic work habits and age-appropriate slacking. He’s prone to failure, stupid action, and occasional and inspiring brilliance. Rules are frequently ignored or broken if they stand between him and whatever he’s stomping off to do that minute.

Hermione is not born into greatness. She’s a fine wizard, it can’t be denied, but these are the products of dutiful study and practice. Her parents were not wizards of reknown, or wizards at all. She is entirely self-made. She faces discrimination, sometimes with patience and reserve and sometimes confronting it directly. She is frequently the master plotter and architect. Harry and Ron have petty fights and act stupid, Hermione is generally mature and often the diplomat. She’s capable of mature, more adult relationships where Harry and Ron might ignore their dates at the dance like normal boys.

Picking between the two of them for a particular task, the choice seems simple:
– For a normal or even a hard task, with preparation time, you’d pick Hermione. She’s steady and reliable. She’s the basketball player who can shoot almost every free throw. Harry’s going to have much less success with that task. He may not know the right spell, he may have skipped out on preparation to practice Quidditch, and there’s a good possibility he didn’t get much sleep the night before because he was off causing trouble.

– For a task of extraordinary difficulty, you’d pick Harry. Faced with the nearly impossible, there’s a chance he might pull it off through talent, will, and luck.

This is ridiculous. On further consideration, you pick Hermione for both. Hermione is likely to know and be able to immediately recall relevant information for any task in front of her, and her wide knowledge of tricks offers her more ways out of the problem. Given her ability to reliably cast those spells, you then want her there to carry it off.

Say an asteroid’s going to hit Hogwarts and only Harry and Hermione are available. Who do you want up on the tower? Harry’s going to try something crazy, like blowing up the asteroid or repelling it, possibly showering the planet in asteroid shards or deflecting the asteroid into the moon and causing crazy tides for the rest of time.

Hermione’s going to come up with some elegant solution like changing the asteroid into something less dense that’s easily movable, or charming it to pass through the Earth as ghost matter, and once she’s come up with it, everyone’s saved, because she’ll pull off the spell.

Why is the initial instinct to put Harry up there, then?

The first is that Hermione’s portrayed as a stickler for rules, that her book knowledge comes with an undue respect for the law. She frequently serves as an artificial voice of concern (“So I suppose you think that’s a reward for breaking the rules?”) to add conflict to scenes and then stomp off. It’s an unsympathetic portrayal. Hermione’s just been introduced to wizarding. She probably fears that this great world she’s been shown, where her talent shines, can be taken away as easily as it was given to her. Harry’s reckless and frequently rebuked for putting himself and others in danger, and by rights should have been tossed out already. But he’s not, because he’s Harry, and he’s special.

When it comes time to do things like “deflect the asteroid”, we don’t always want that person up there. We’re weak, and we want someone strong to protect us, and in many ways we don’t care about the consequences. A sufficently large end justifies all means. This runs through stories forever. A detective, pushed too far, hits back! Take the super-popular 24 as a great example of this. The main character is a law-breaking, torturing killer who accomplishes the impossible.

We want someone to say “No, you can’t try to blow up that asteroid!” and Harry to run past them with a smart quip and evade whoever else is trying to stop them, because we know that’s the kind of guy he is. You don’t want someone who might fret about possible life forms on the asteroid and start a comic-relief organization with a funny acronymn.

This argument fails. Hermione, when she is convinced that something must be done, breaks the rules and expresses little regret about it. When she knows she must help, she does, and does so effectively. In weighing the possible consequences of her actions, she shows a level head in evaluating the law against what may be accomplished outside it. That’s far more valuable than not caring about the effects.

Say the earth-saving charm, whatever it is, requires the caster to at the same time kill someone close to them. Do you still choose Harry, who you’ll know will probably be freaked out and sad and might then get really angry and attempt the task without offing Ron?

Or do you now pick Hermione, who would be shocked and freak out and look for an alternative and then, when none could be found, would off Ron (possibly while crying) and then perform the spell perfectly?

In one of those two choices, Hermione goes through a lot of pain and suffering that her former future husband had to bite it, but she’ll read some self-help books and get some counseling and she’ll be fine. Maybe she gets a taste for it, bumps off Ginny to make it a matched set, and marries Harry herself.

In the other, Hermione doesn’t because she’s dead and so is everyone else because Harry botched the casting.

That’s not the big reason our instinct is to pick Harry, though.

It’s because that’s what Hermione would tell us to do.

“Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!”

This is by far the worst moment in any of the books. It doesn’t stick out immeidately — at the time, it seems dramatic and fitting that Harry should be sent on to the final confrontation while Hermione stays behind. But more than anything else, it exists because Hermione is the sidekick and Harry is the hero, so Hermione must defer to him.

Self-made defers to the inherited.
Hard work defers to the lazy.
Intelligence defers to instinct.

Because the hero of the books is Harry, the one who can pull the sword from the stone, he is in the final confrontations. Hermione gets credited with the assist because she doesn’t charge in, and she doesn’t charge in because she has to say things like that in order to get Harry in by himself.

Even if Hemione was not the character chosen to have her name in the title, she is the most interesting and good character the series offers us. She strives to make the most of her talents but doubts. She is afraid but courageous. She is powerful and strives to be charitable. She is ambitious in the service of good. She is a loyal and steady friend in spite of challenges.

Harry offers us a story-time view of royalty, and Hermione is the modern self-made woman. Harry may appeal to traditions of myth, it is Hermione that is the better hero.

Note to a World of Warcraft hostage

Dear hostage,

Right now, you’re back in your small, locked cage, wondering how long it will be before I come back for another attempt to win you your freedom. You may be thinking back on my previous tries, all valiant brave acts that ended in defeat, and your heart may warm to know that my determination to liberate you won’t be stopped by temporary setbacks or heartbreaking failure.

You are wrong. There will be no more rescues by me, not because I am not brave, or able. No, I have decided that you are better off dead, or at least, in the cage supervised by your captors.

A wave of relief washed over me as I reached this decision, and more than ever, I know that I am right. You are not worth it — the world is better off without you. You may wonder why I have reached this conclusions, and it only right that I owe you an explanation.

You are the worst kind of teammate. Sneaking away from your captors, heavily outnumbered, you can’t seem to resist the temptation to randomly rush off and pick fights with them, even as I’m trying to carefully clear the way in front of you. You attract the attention of groups as if you were some kind of aspiring idol and not a refuge from their imprisonment. You cannot be controlled or counted on to act rationally or even in a consistent, stupid manner that I might compensate for.

I suspect you were not innocently captured, as you would have me believe. I have begun to see that your captors have a point. Most likely, you were wandering around and blundered into their camp, at which point you decided to go for a stroll, attacking them at random until they subdued you and threw you in a cage, as much for your own safety as theirs.

I agree with them. I will find other things to do. I am sure in time there will be other heroes who are both stubborn and stupid, possibly traveling in groups, who will have the time and dullness of wit required to try and over again to help you.

Yours sincerely,

Jurgen

So you’ve been in an auto accident…

In April of 2001 and living in Duvall, I was waiting to make a left turn in my old Prelude when I was creamed from behind by a teenage girl. I banged my head, knocking myself out, and when I came to, I thought “Hey, my turn signal’s off. And my engine’s stopped.” I went to restart it and then stopped. I felt like I’d been struck on the back of the head. I stumbled out of the car, called 911 (hold!) and then my future wife. I was almost totally incoherent, telling her I was at “that place where you turn in to go home”.

Skipping the ambulance ride and my long, awful time in the ER strapped to a board while trying to remain conscious… the next day, I have to see my doctor, as the ER doc told me. I call my doctor and they won’t see me, because it relates to an accident.

Which is ridiculous bullshit. I don’t care what kind of arguments you want to make about malpractice or not wanting to take time off work or whatever. I got banged up, I needed a doctor, and suddenly I didn’t have one. If you’re going to do this to patients, I think they deserve some kind of warning about it. “Yes, Dr. Bob is accepting new patients, but he’s going to flake out on you when you really need him. Can I make you an appointment?”

Short version here: I found someone who would see me even knowing I’d just been in an accident. She was a practicing nurse and was cool. I ended up doing a lot of physical therapy for my neck and back. I worked my butt off in physical therapy over six weeks, pushing for more stuff to do, focusing on aerobic exercise that didn’t aggravate my back or neck (like the pounding of running meant I gave that up entirely — this is where I started getting back into cycling). I was off work for a week entirely, and after that I started coming back a little at a time starting working only an hour or two from home and then coming in, trying to keep stretched out, but there was a point where my back or neck would start to seize up and I’d have to call it a day, get down to the YMCA and go through my stretching and exercise regimen.

Farmers then fought me for four years.

Their reasons for continuing to fight over those four years:

  • I didn’t see a real doctor
  • I didn’t miss work because of a doctor’s orders
  • sick time taken doesn’t cost me anything (this is easily refuted, but they made it)
  • if it only took six weeks of physical therapy, it must not have been that bad

… and so on.

Farmer’s, along with some other major insurance companies, is engaged in a wide-scale war against claimants in these kind of cases where there isn’t clear harm — I didn’t lose a limb or an eye, for instance. Their strategy is to fight them all tooth-and-nail, across the board, and force claimants to trial. Thier objective is to make people more reluctant to fight them. Lawyers are less likely to take on these cases because they know it’ll be a long and pointless fight, and they don’t want to bring a case to a jury where the plaintiff didn’t miss all that much work and isn’t asking for all that much (Jury: “Who is this yahoo and why is he wasting our time?”). People hurt, like me, are more likely to give up at some point in the process, because each step can be dragged out so long that they’ll take the pittance offered them out of frustration.

I had to keep reminding myself of this to keep from flipping out with anger: Farmer’s admitted liability, and they’re not so much fighting me as I’m one person in a category. It’s not much comfort. Being treated badly because you’re a member of class isn’t any better than being treated badly because you’re you. It’s worse, if anything — at least the person who dislikes you personally is reacting to you personally. It helped me though, in seeing the long view: if I was going to get any money out of them at all, it was going to take a long time, and being ticked off about it now wasn’t going to help.

My advice to you now:

  • find out if your doctor’s going to run from you when you really need them, so you can be prepared
  • buy a Volvo now
  • no really, don’t be like me wait until after you’re in an accident. Used Volvos are nice, affordable, safe cars, and a nice Volvo 850 isn’t even $10k which is a bargain for what is (in my opinion) one of the finest cars ever made (after that bumpy first year)

My advice to you, if you’re in an accident:

  • take good notes on the accident, what time you took off, and where that time came from, as well as whether it was paid or unpaid leave
  • if your doctor won’t see you, find another certified-with-diploma-type doctor
  • if you need to get time off, get a note from that doctor
  • be as aggressive as you can be for yourself, but don’t stop going to physical therapy until you’re totally sure that you’re ready. I went through some problems after I stopped going, and wished that I’d gone to less frequent appointments rather than going cold turkey
  • if you have problems after you stop doing therapy, go back to the doctor and get a new prescription for therapy if you have to. Don’t try and power through it or anything — get the help you need.

They finally settled, and obviously after a four year fight, I didn’t end up with much money. But it’s over, so that’s good.

JJ Mahoney’s, because the Celtic Bayou wasn’t bad enough

I wandered into a bar in Redmond today to kill an hour (don’t ask). JJ Mahoney’s. It’s a generic Irish bar, and probably part of the Guiness Irish Pub Concept.

The good: quality Irish and English beers on tap, the bartender was nice enough
The bad: $5.50 for a pint those quality beers

I read the paper over my beer. Next to me, two drunk guys played darts the whole time, doing as well as you’d expect two bad dart players to do. This involved a lot of swearing. This was a little weird, because Mahoney’s has a big “family friendly” thing they’re trying to sell.

And it was weirder because there seemed to be groups of people who worked there hanging around, at one point complaining that because so many people worked there so little, they didn’t even know each other. And there was this whole vibe like… I wanted to link to the Onion article about the restaurant staff sleeping with each other, but I couldn’t.

So two things:
– the good thing about being drunk is that allows you to do crazy crap and laugh it off later. One of the guys there was grappling two women to get them on his lap while he had this conversation with them:
Drunk guy: “The two of you at once!”
Woman: “No!”
Drunk guy: “Come on! How hot would that be!”
Woman: “No!”
Drunk guy: “Come on! The two of you at once!”
Woman: “No! (Drunk guy’s name) stop!”
(guy repeats two/three things as the woman gets increasingly annoyed)

I’m actually a little surprised he didn’t get pepper sprayed.

But the thing is, say it doesn’t work. Laughs all around, boy, how drunk was I?
And if it does work… well, huzzah!

It’s not as good as having the drunk friend (“Hey, Rob here totally likes you…”) for deniability-so-you-can-continue-drinking-there, but it’s something.

– What the hell is it with women and children?
“I’m –.”
“Hey, –, are you from England?”
“I am. (boring bit deleted).”
“Are you married?”
“No, but I’ve got (three kids)…”
“You do? Do you miss them?”
“No. (boring bit deleted). I have to make myself not miss them, though, because otherwise I’ll start blubbering…”
“Awwwww….” (swooning from all within earshot)

I wonder if this an effective tactic for single guys. How far can you go with it? Will wearing a “Deadbeat Dad” shirt get you a certain kind of woman? Or does it have to be something like “I have adorable children I wish I could be with right now instead of you, but perhaps you can console me?”

Also, the group of whoever would split up so some of them could smoke on the patio, and whoever was not inside would bang on the glass with the darts (loud) and open the patio door to have conversations, letting in a massive cold, wet draft.

The staffers on duty seemed oblivious to the swearing, loud threesome proposals, and extended door opening. Which I should go write up on “Bad”.

Anyway: JJ Mahoney’s bar is a shitty place to kill an hour. For the first time in years, I wished I’d walked over to the Coho Cafe and bought my overpriced beer there.